5/30/2013

First Dates

Congratulations!  A prospect said yes to a meeting!

Treating this like a first date is a great idea.  But some people are really bad at dating...so let's elaborate.

We all know this person: as soon as they make plans to have drinks with someone, their mind starts spinning wild stories into the future, envisioning a winter wedding, picking out names for their children...and that never works out, because that kind of craziness makes it impossible to simply be there on that first date.  There's no getting to know each other, there's no sense of togetherness - it's just the poor date, tagging along with you and your dreams.

You can't go into a first date hoping that you'll be ready to pop the question by the end of the hour.  So?  Don't approach a first meeting with a prospect thinking that you need to be ready to solicit them by the end of the meeting.

Your job on a date is to get a feel for each other, establish some common ground, introduce yourselves. Donors have a lot of causes competing for their support.  You have a lot of potential donors to court.  Just like dating, the purpose of these meeting is to see if you're a good fit for each other, and if things go well, it's a relationship you build up over time.

It's a two way street.  A lot of folks get thrown by perceived power dynamics - if you're lucky, you're a working stiff, raising money for an organization you love, across the table from someone who is ridiculously, almost unimaginably wealthy.  But on a first date, you cannot see yourself as powerless.  You're trading information, you're feeling each other out.  The second you believe you're begging for table scraps?  Well, it's like someone who goes on a first date and leads with "I'm so grateful you agreed to go out with me.  I'm ugly, boring, unlovable and completely unworthy of your interest, but I'll worship you if you date me."  Won't go well.

Ideally, you are listening more than you're talking, after you make sure that the prospect has a reasonable foundation of knowledge about your organization.  You have a lot to learn about this other person.  What are their likes and dislikes, what missions and causes speak to their heart, what do they support because of a sense of obligation or inherited responsibility, what do they look for in projects to support, what motivates their giving...and also, what do they like about their job, what kind of family do they have, what things might you (your professional persona) and they have in common...and that's just the general questions.  Depending on what kind of organization you're fundraising for, you also want to know how they relate to your cause?  Are you in the arts?  What was the first performance they remember?  Are you working for a homeless shelter?  Have they ever been to one?  

Think about your excitement, meeting a potential mate for a date in a swanky restaurant.  You're dressed up, you have every reason to believe this person is amazing...what do you want the evening to look like?  Well, there may be some awkward introductions at first (hopefully not so awkward!), but you want to settle into an easy conversation where you're asking questions, listening intently to the answers, and responding with tidbits of your own (stories, anecdotes, observations) and then asking the next question based on where the conversation has gone.  You're laughing, you're talking...you want more, when it's time to end the date.

Just make sure you're steering - not just letting the conversation ramble and run away.  A fun coffee date with a prospect that doesn't give them new appreciation for your organization and/or doesn't give you any better sense for who that prospect is as a supporter may be pleasant...but you're not likely to get more of their time.  (That's where the date comparison ends...it's not enough to enjoy each other's company - you're not looking for friends, you're developing a professional relationship, and if you don't provide them with a clear answer to the question "is this worth an hour of my time?" then these prospects will be spending their valuable time elsewhere.)

Be engaging, be charming, make connections.  Leave them wanting more, and make sure you have enough information to be able to follow up in a way that will strengthen that connection.  And most importantly - don't put too much pressure on the date.  Give yourself breathing room, and just enjoy the chance to get to know an amazing person a bit better.

Next up: a little more structure.  What do you want to be sure to communicate, and what do you really want to find out?


5/29/2013

Anonymity vs. Public Legacy

Mark Oppenheimer wrote a great article in the New York Times about a couple of different things that motivate big donors: naming rights vs. anonymous donations (and altruistic satisfaction).  He came at it from a religious angle - both Judaism and Christianity elevate anonymous giving, giving without any expectations of recognition or return, giving without strings attached...

Without getting into any whiff of the hierarchical morality of various giving styles, this article can help inexperienced fundraisers gain a little insight into what might drive a donor.  Spend a little time thinking about what these two desires say about a donor - the desire to have your name attached to a building, to leave a legacy, to be recognized and celebrated not only by an organization's leadership but by your peers and the public...and the desire to know what no one else does: that you've changed lives, to feel that you are motivated by purer stuff, to feel like you have fulfilled a commandment.

Then take it one step further: how can your organization provide for these kinds of donors?

Maybe some day we can have a conversation about how some of these ideas might guide you and your organization in crafting your development strategies (are you better at providing for one type of donor motivation than another?  How do you attract those donors?  Are you missing out on a big piece of major donor pie by not being able to reward donors looking for a particular response to their donation?  When it comes to cultivating anonymous donations, or going gung-ho in the other direction, encouraging naming opportunities for every level...are you communicating the right things about your organization?)  More on all that later...


5/28/2013

Choosing the right tool: asking for a meeting

So, you've got your pitch prepared, and you've mustered your courage, and you've shellacked your ruefully thin skin so that you won't be terribly damaged by inevitable rejection (as one of my first fundraising mentors was fond of saying - if no one is telling you no, you're not asking enough people.)...

Go forth and ask for some meetings!

And for some people, that brings them to a screeching halt.  Break it down further.  

OK.  So, you've got a lot of choices when in comes to the mode of communication you'll be using.  How do you sort through those?

Let's start with some reasonable criteria you can use to select the right tool from your toolkit.

  1. You're likely to be limited by the contact information you have for your prospect.  If you only have a phone number or a mailing address, well, you use what you have, and don't look back.
  2. What feels natural/most comfortable for you?  Are you the kind of person who would rather have the immediate give and take of a live conversation, where you can tell jokes and gauge the response (instead of being terrified they'll be misread in an email), where you can purr and pluck your voice to make sure your message stands out?  Pick up the phone.  Are you terrified of accidentally getting caught like a deer in headlights unless you have time to write everything out?  Email sounds good.  It's a great idea to default to whatever method lets you relax and shine.
  3. On the other hand, you need to balance that with what you know about your prospect.  Take every person as an individual, of course...but if you're dealing with a Millenial whiz kid who's made a couple of fortunes already as a tech entrepreneur, email is probably your best bet, if not some other kind of electronic medium.  If you're approaching an old school, noblesse oblige philanthropist in their late 80s, a handwritten note on good stationery might be the way to go.
  4. What's your time horizon?  Let's say you live in Boston and have to be in New York a week from Thursday, and you're looking to meet with a couple of people while you're there.  The US Postal Service is not going to do it for you.  Let's say you're looking to connect with a Forbes List billionaire who has a home two blocks from your headquarters, and it's less about when and more about making the best possible impression.  That's a great time to take the long view and get your board member's spouse's great aunt (who plays bridge with said billionaire on Wednesday afternoons) to finagle an introduction.  (Obviously, those kind of machinations do not turn on a dime!)
So what should you have in your toolbox, anyway?  For starters (and I've gone with bullets instead of a numbered list, to help you remember that I'm not listing these in any hierarchy...you have to decide which is best for any given situation):

  • Email.  Useful and commonly accepted.  Often has a very swift turnaround. Spam filters can be a hazard.  Keeping it short is *essential* - no one scrolls down too far for someone they don't know.  You can include links, which, if done right, can be very engaging (without having to write more in that initial email).  If you don't have a formal record-keeping system where you save and categorize all your outgoing communications, you now have a record of what you sent to the prospect.
  • Snail Mail.  Can help you stand out - people don't get a whole lot of actual person to person mail anymore.  Has to be opened and read...so you have to make sure not to look like a piece of junk mail.  You can send brochures or one-pagers or other pretty/graphic items that help tell your story, or even tchochkes...IF you think it helps your case.  You can type a longer letter or send a handwritten note for greater personalization.  Takes a couple of days at best to arrive.  Much harder to get someone to send a letter back than to click "reply."  Think about whether to mail to someone's home or office (what message does that send?).
  • Social Media sites (LinkedIn and Facebook are the two big ones currently; there are others and fashions will evolve - this advice remains constant.)  Many of the advantages of email, but with the added benefit that the recipient can immediately see that they have x friends who already support you.  Usage is less normalized than email - e.g., some folks may be on Facebook 24/7, while others have virtually forgotten that they have the account and their inbox is not set up to alert them that they have a new message.  Some folks think Facebook is a place where they socialize with friends rather than interface with the public.  Some folks treat LinkedIn as a place for their business networking...rather than a place where folks might find them and solicit funds.  Note: a request for a meeting should always be done in a private message, even on these sites.  DO NOT place such a request on a public forum, even on one of these sites.  It would be terrible etiquette.  Potential exception: Twitter.  If you've developed a back and forth with someone on Twitter, go ahead and tweet an invitation as an extension of your conversation, but remember that it's not a private chat and adjust accordingly.  But it might be better to form a relationship via twitter and then email.
  • Phone. Patented in 1876.  Pretty useful since then and still a great way to reach out and touch someone.  No worries about someone misreading the tone of your writing.  You can prepare all you want, but you can't be entirely scripted the way a written invitation is.  You can adapt on the fly as you talk to the person.  Very immediate.  You need to be equally prepared to have a conversation or to leave a message.  
  • In person.  No, this isn't a case of scheduling a meeting to make a meeting...quite.  Let's say you see someone at a cocktail party - you can ask them for a meeting, get them to say yes, and arrange to call their office on Monday to figure out the details.  And if you think that's an approach that will work, this is a great long play - getting in the same room with someone for the purpose of catching their attention long enough to get them to agree to an actual "first date."  For folks who are (or are virtually) public figures, this might be the most successful way to open that door.  Biggest con: these are hard to manufacture/navigate, and you've got the additional pressure of a potential rejection happening real time, in your face, that you must deal with gracefully. 
  • Friend of a friend set-ups.  If you can have someone who knows you and your organization open a door for you, that's almost always the best way to introduce yourself and ask for that first meeting.  But most of the time, that'll take the form of an introduction at an event you're both at, or an email of introduction where you're cc'd (and then need to follow up directly), or your friend giving you contact information for your prospect and allowing you to use their name ("Jane Doe told me I should give you a call because you might be interested in what we do...").  Some times, that friend will arrange a meeting for you...could be one on one, most commonly is a lunch or coffee where that friend will be present along with your prospect.  Going back to our dating metaphor, this one is definitely matchmaking.  It takes as long as it takes.  And for better and worse, you hitch yourself to the reputation of your matchmaker (could be great, but not everyone with access to wealthy philanthropists is liked by them...tread cautiously, using your gut).  Some matchmakers are terrible meddlers (if they're at the meeting, some will insert themselves in the conversation - again, for better and worse...depends on the person!).  You have to really be on your game and exceptionally charming at that meeting, because unlike the rest of these approaches, where the person has said yes because of something you have done, they may only be at that meeting because of social pressure and obligations to someone else entirely...so you've got more work to do to win them over!
Not on the list:
  • Texting.  For the moment, this still seems too informal in most scenarios, for a first point of contact with someone you've never met.  How do you introduce yourself and ask for a favor in 140 characters?  But younger generations are eschewing email and phone for texting, at least statistically...so think about using texts if it makes sense, but only in connection with another method.  For instance: go "speed-dating" at a young philanthropists conference, and secure both phone numbers and permission to be in touch for a coffee date "some time soon."  Then it might be OK to text a followup the next day and suggest a meeting.  Just make sure it makes sense and feels like the best way to communicate...novelty alone isn't necessarily the best way to stand out.
What are some of the most effective ways you've asked for meetings with cold (or at least cool) prospects?

5/23/2013

How to Get a Meeting

We're going to jump a few steps in the development process.  We'll come back to them at some point.  For now, let's recap: you will identify some people you want to target as donors.  Let's call them prospects (they're not donors yet).  You will research them.  You will come up with a strategy for getting in touch with them.  And then you'll ask them to meet with you.

How?

Let's start with theory, and some guidelines, then talk about the nuances of the various methods you might use when asking.

Big picture: This is a huge part of your job.  Just do it.  Many people are going to say no.  Some will never respond. Some will respond poorly.  Put those stories into your bar file - the collection of stories you bust out when you go drinking with fellow fundraisers (or other friends who like trading tales of woe.)  Some percentage will say yes...and you have two ways to increase the number of meetings you wind up taking.  One is to refine your technique, which is important, of course, but even the most skillful fundraiser will wind up with a lot of no's.  The other is far far easier: keep busy, and increase the number of people you ask!  This is a constant part of fundraising.  If you hate it, if you fear it, you need to find a way to work around that.

More big picture: This is the start of a relationship.  You can overcome a first impression, but it's so much nicer to make an accurate (and positive) one so you can build on it, instead!

Scared yet?  Sorry...let's get to the demystifying part.

Think about your own experiences.  What would make you take time out of your busy life to meet with someone whose agenda as a development professional is clear? (If you're a volunteer, same question.)  The golden rule is often a good place to start...how would you want to be approached if you were the one being asked for a meeting?

Next step is to filter that through what you think you know about the other person...do a sanity check to make sure you think they'd respond to that approach - do they have a reputation for liking a lot of flattery?  Does your research suggest they're too busy and matter of fact to read and respond to a long letter?  Do you have a feeling they would like a meeting at their office or do they seem to prefer leisurely lunches at the nicest club in town?  Just use your best intuitions here - the more insights you've found in your research the better, but at the end of the day, you make the ask with whatever information you have, even if it's next to nothing.

Good rules of thumb:

  1. Respect the other person.  This means so many things...but let's start with the obvious: you're asking this person to make a gift of their valuable time - it's a favor to you, simply to meet and learn more.  You don't have to fall all over yourself thanking them, but internalize some gratitude at the very least.  The other important internal work that you should do (and this is probably great fodder for another full post someday) is to come to a place where you respect and admire this wealthy individual.  I've seen professional fundraisers try to work with donors who they don't respect...women who are spending their husband's money, younger folks who have been blessed with family wealth, folks who make their money in ways that seem dubious depending on your perspective (banking, oil industry, defense contracting, etc.)...if you can't get past that, the problem is YOURS.  Either you're looking at your research and launching off personal baggage to reach conclusions, or that bad taste in your mouth is something you should pay attention to.  For instance: if you are an organization that supports cancer research, what are you doing chasing donations from a fortune rooted in the tobacco industry?!  Bottomline: if you can't respect a prospect, you shouldn't really be going after them...you can't really fake that.
  2. Be honest.  I had a client who was convinced that no one would ever meet with her if she made it clear she wanted to make a development call.  We'll talk about how you want to phrase that (see next bulletpoint), but you do need to be truthful in your communications (always!  Why are we talking about this?!) and you'll save yourself a lot of trouble if you do your best to give your prospect an accurate impression of what you're looking for.  Example: let's say you're a volunteer...you've invited a wealthy friend to lunch.  She thinks she's meeting a friend to catch up, only to be surprised to learn you have a mercenary agenda.  That's not likely to be a great meeting.  Don't bait and switch, don't pretend development doesn't exist.
  3. Find your own style.  How directly you want to approach someone is something that should feel comfortable to you (and probably varies in different situations)...if you're a no-nonsense, easy-going person, try plain and direct language.  If you're the kind of person who never leaves the house without makeup, go ahead and apply your metaphorical face.  It's important that the ask represents you, matches the conversation you will have, and matches the way you like to work.  (Actually, it's a form of being honest - don't try to pretend to be someone you're not, just to get a meeting...we just rarely think about it in those terms.)
  4. Be specific.  However direct or guarded you are, stylistically, you need to ask for something specific.  What do you want?  Think about your personal life - if you email a friend and say "I was thinking about you - we should get together sometime," the likelihood of that happening is slim.  On the other hand, if you say "I'm looking for advice on finding a job in your industry - could I buy you coffee and ask you some questions next week?  I'm wide open on Wednesday and Thursday afternoon."...you have a good shot at getting what you want.  (Knowing what you want to ask for...I'm not taking that for granted.  We can talk about that some other time.)
  5. Recommended: lay out specific plans for followup.  Something to the effect of "I'll give you a call next week to discuss.  Obviously, do not hesitate to contact me if you see an opening in your schedule right away!"  This suggests, politely, that ignoring your email/phone call/letter isn't going to work - you're not going away.  It makes folks much more likely to respond, and to think about your request before you contact them as promised.  (IMPORTANT: Be honest with yourself - if you're not going to execute whatever you put out there, don't talk about followup.  It's better to be vague and lose that slight pressure to pay attention than to prove yourself to be unreliable and less than determined.  Don't beat yourself up about it - just be honest and refuse to set yourself up for failure.)

Next up (because wow, this got long...let's take a breath!): The mechanics of asking - email, phone, in person
After that: they said yes - now what?!


5/22/2013

The Dating Metaphor

Major gift fundraising is a lot like dating.  There are a lot of potential matches out there.  You have to find them AND meet them and convince them to spend some time with you.  They have to get to know you, the warts and wonders of you.  You have to get to know them.  You have to figure out if you're good together.  You take a couple of big steps together.  Work on a project.  Meet each other's friends.  The fear of rejection is always hanging over you.  You take the plunge and pop the question...

Also, it's hard to figure out what to wear.

A *lot* like dating, in fact.  

It's not the only metaphor I use for fundraising, but it's a really useful one.  And you can extend it pretty far.  (Polygamy - getting in bed with several donors at once without a clear plan for juggling all their needs.  One night stands - the donor who's infatuated with you, makes a huge gift without much prompting, but has no interest in committing further.  The Ex (and The Other Woman) - the donor who was committed to you but was lured to another, similar organization for one reason or another.  I could go on.)  Suffice it to say, we're going to run with this.

But I want to say a little more about why it's so useful to think about major gift fundraising as "dating."

  1. Hopefully, it'll make you smile, maybe even laugh (though I suspect my writing is sort of a soft-snort-at-best wry humor).  That's the idea.  You're reading this because fundraising is stressful at times.  Let's poke some fun at it.
  2. Dating is really stressful, or have you forgotten?  If you're long married (or commitedly, blissfully single), maybe you're looking in your rearview mirror through a rose-colored, soft-focus windshield.  Shake it off.  There were some good times, yeah - when a date goes well, when you have that first kiss and can't stop smiling for hours, when you see nothing but possibilities with someone because you barely know them, when you've had a really great sleepover - but the process is crazy-making.  And painful, and personal, and unpredictable, and overwhelming at times.  But almost all of us keep at it, because the good outweighs the bad, we get better at it, we think it will be worth it in the end.  Which we sometimes forget about fundraising, but it applies there too.  
  3. If you're a young fundraiser (professional or volunteer), take heart!  You may not have a lot of experience doing formal development work.  But fundraising is really a lot like dating, and negotiating friendships, and navigating familial relationships.  You've got experience with all of those things, to different degrees.  You just have to figure out how to apply everything you've learned in your own life to your fundraising work.
  4. Fundraising is all about relationships.  And the things that are important when you're dating are the same things that are true in development.  
    • You're going to have a hard time being really successful until you have a real sense of who you are.  Organizations that change themselves for every hot donor that winks at them have the same problems as that guy you know who slips on a different identity every time he finds a new girlfriend.  
    • You have to be OK with rejection - and sometimes be the one who lets your date down easy.  It's not necessarily a reflection on either party, it's a mature appreciation that you can't be all things to all people.  Sometimes, it's a pleasant date, but it's clear you're not right for each other...and that's OK too.  
    • It's easier to meet the other person's needs if you communicate well.  There's a lot of frustration to be found in dropping hints and hoping your partner is a mind reader.  Or thinking that it's a good test of your partner, to see if they "get" you - can they figure out what you want without being told.  True story, I know a girl who had The Perfect Ring picked out by the time she was in high school...and for a long time, she thought it would be the perfect test of a suitor - if he proposed with The Perfect Ring, she'd know it was true love, and if he didn't, well... Sounds ridiculous that way, doesn't it?  Fortunately, before anyone actually attempted to propose to her, she figured out how dumb that was.  But I've seen many professionals get stuck in their conversations with donors, chattering on and on about the big project that they just need an angel donor to kick into gear, silently hoping that their donor will take the hint and get down on their metaphoric knee and beg to be made the happiest donor in the world.  
    • Quantity and quality both matter when you're looking for partners.  You're going to have to go on a lot of dates.  Most of them work out.  One great way to hedge your bets is to go out every night.  Meet different folks for coffee, cocktails, dinner, dessert.  Five to six nights a week.  At the same time, you want to do everything you can to make sure you're spending your time with the right folks...looking for a Catholic wedding?  Why are you on J-Date?!  It's worth figuring out some characteristics you're looking for and using that to narrow down your search.  And never underestimate the power of getting friends to set you up.
So the next time you binge on a rom-com marathon, explain that you're having a professional development retreat.  Take notes.  (Most Hollywood movies are paragons of how not to date, and let's not talk about gender tropes in popular cinema...but hey - object lessons come in many forms)

Next up: How to get a first date.


5/21/2013

Kabuki Theater

I once had a client tell me that she felt development conversations (one on one meetings with donors, mostly, but everything that surrounds those, too) are a mysterious form of kabuki theater that no one has ever explained to her and she can't quite figure out.

I'm guessing she's not alone.

Many people have a general sense of things that happen to bring in a big gift, but they don't have an intimate understanding of how those things happen, how they fit together, and how they might or might not progress.  For example, if we're thinking about getting a brand new donor to make their first gift, even though they're famous in the community for giving away lots of money to local or like-minded causes, someone might suggest that a good roadmap would be

  1. Reach out and make an introduction
  2. Meet with this person one on one
  3. Follow up
  4. Get this person to come to an event
  5. Ask them for a huge gift
  6. Celebrate finishing the year in the black thanks to your development savvy
Just one problem.  HOW???  HOW do you reach out?  If you manage to get a meeting, what do you need to say or do when you've got that opportunity?  HOW do you follow up?  And regardless of what the steps in between are (there could be a few, there could be many), HOW do you know when to ask them for that big gift?  And HOW do you do it?  (And what exactly do you do if they say yes?)

Fundraising isn't rocket science.  Meet people.  Get them to have good feelings for your mission and organization.  Ask them for money.  Thank them.  Repeat.  But if it were so very easy, if all of this were intuitive...well, it's not.  And anyone who doesn't respect that (Board members? Fundraising consultants? Staff members?  Your friends and family?) is either misguided or mean.

This is also a huge concern for a lot of board members...they've been asked to take on fundraising responsibilities.  They'd love to.  But when it comes down to a transactional level, they've got no clue where to start or how to proceed.

For all of you who are worried that you've somehow landed in the audience of a very weird play with lots of rules and a language you don't seem to speak, my next few posts are going to be devoted to some thoughts on filling in the connective tissue between some of these fundraising techniques.  How do you approach new potential donors?  What happens in a development meeting? How do you actually solicit a big gift?  We won't cover all the bases, and your own situation will have nuances and extenuating circumstances that change the recommendations for what to do...but a primer on kabuki may be helpful.  Let's start there.




5/20/2013

Hanging my Shingle

I've decided (since I have no lawyers to tell me exactly how bad an idea it is) not to start this blog off with an unattributed picture of Lucy Van Pelt, hanging out in her cardboard psychiatric "office"...but the doctor is in.  And has the same psychiatric credibility.

This is not a blog about your actual life problems.  I can't help you there.

But when it comes to development - the business of fundraising - that's what I'm here for.  I've been a professional fundraiser in one capacity or another for over 13 years, doing everything.   Individual giving (multimillion dollar solicitations on down to small gifts); mass appeals (direct mail, email, mobile giving); events; directing volunteer campaigns; grantwriting; corporate giving; crowd funding; earned income ventures...I've seen most of it.

For the past three years I've operated my own business, split between strategy consulting for nonprofits and leadership development/coaching.  (Want to hire me?  Great! www.viliandvesolutions.com)  I've learned a lot about the common problems of nonprofits and their leaders:

  1. Fundraising is almost always a concern.  Sometimes it's all consuming, sometimes it's a crisis, sometimes it holds an organization back, and sometimes it's fine but a source of great stress for the board and management.
  2. Most people hate fundraising.  If people don't hate fundraising, they are almost guaranteed to have other hangups about development work.  Fear? Discomfort? The certainty that they don't know what they're doing and are going to mess things up and terrible, horrible things will happen?  Maybe they rely too much on their personal charisma to close gifts, or retreat entirely behind their organization's mission and needs until they're so personally invisible that they can't form a relationship.  There's a lot that can interfere with fundraising that all comes down to the people trying to fundraise.
I've had the pleasure of coaching a number of amazing leaders and organizations to greater development success - and I measure that both in dollars/donors raised AND in the perceived pain it took to get there.

I'm hoping to share some of my insights and suggestions with a greater audience here.  Please send me your feedback, add comments for other readers, and if you've got questions you think a development shrink could help with, please email me, with the understanding that I'll hope to answer them, advice columnist style, in a later post - so do not send me any sensitive information.  Nothing confidential and nothing that you rather not see repeated on the blog. 

I'm sure this blog will evolve, but I look forward to starting this journey today!