6/03/2013

First Dates part 2 - What's A Nice Fundraiser Like You Doing In A Place Like This?

When last we left our metaphor, we were walking into the bar, and had just caught sight of our date, who sees you, smiles and waves.  As you head over to him/her, your nerves are about to get the best of you, and all you can think is "What the hell am I doing here, I don't know how to do this, I'm pretty sure I just forgot how to speak English, and I just know I'm going to screw this up and this guy/gal will never ever ever donate a cent to my organization."

Happens to professionals all the time.

Often combined with "Oh my god, what am I going to say to someone with that much money, and what do I do when the check comes?"

Seriously, I hope that all of your problems are this bad.  Because aside from the terror you're feeling, these are all things you can get through.

To help, here's a checklist of four things that you can practice answers to in the shower until you're feeling comfortable with what you have to say (and how you say it.)  If you communicate all four, it's a successful first date...and 3 out of 4 earns you an A-, if you can manage those 3 with grace.


  1. Have an elevator pitch for your organization and several of its programs (or the campaign you're fundraising for, if that's relevant - whatever you're hoping to eventually solicit money for, be able to describe it reasonably well in under 30 seconds.)
  2. Know how you stand out from the crowd.  What's different about your organization, what's unique about your approach, what distinguishes you from everyone else? (And, lest this not be obvious, never disparage other individuals or organizations when developing this sound bite.  Or ever, really.  It's just tacky, and always reflects poorly on you, eventually.)
  3. What do you need? 
    • At some point, a savvy donor may ask, even in a first meeting "So what do you need?"  That's great, if you have an answer.  If you don't, that's a huge turnoff.  You'll leave the prospect thinking that the whole meeting has been a waste of time, if you don't even know what you're looking for.  If they don't ask, just knowing "I'm looking for an angel donor to make project X a reality" or "I need an extra $10k a year to hire a web designer," etc. can help guide your conversation.  Example: let's say you need that web designer.  Managing to talk about the importance of a comprehensive web presence, or how amazing it is that organizations that were once hyperlocal are now forced to consider global image thanks to the internet?  Sets you up for this ask eventually.
  4. What's your personal story?
    • Most people want to relate personally to their fundraiser.  Why do you care enough about this mission/organization to be on the frontline, asking for money right now?  How did you get involved, what does it mean to you?  The answer is rarely going to be the whole truth and nothing but the truth...you want to consider a way of phrasing the truth in a way that a) makes you comfortable (you do not have to lay bare your entire soul) and b) makes the prospect comfortable.  (Raising money for a rape counseling hotline?  "I have enough personal experience that this is deeply important to me" continues the conversation.  "Well, I was raped a couple of times in college" could stop it cold.)
Beyond those four things, you should have lots and lots of stories.  You should have enough material that you could do nothing but talk about your organization for an hour or more, using anecdotes.  Funny or touching stories from the field.  Amazing outcomes.  Lessons learned the hard way.  Profiles of your staff.

You will not tell them all of those stories.  Promise me that!

If you spend a full hour talking about your organization and experiences, it's gone poorly.  (Ever go on a date with someone who just wouldn't shut up about themselves and their accomplishments?  Was there a second date?)

But if you have a lot of material, it's like having a rolodex of good stories, and you can flip through that mental file and pluck out the right one for wherever the conversation takes you.  This is about being prepared for anything, not about trying to say everything you have to say on a first date.

You can wing it, of course, but I personally know the pain of being the kind of person who, when under pressure, is quick to jump to "Oh, that reminds me of this really funny story when..." that ends "Holy batwings, why am I telling this story?!"  If I'm super nervous, my filter for what's appropriate develops holes in the mesh, and I tend to go "blue" as my grandmother used to say.  Or, less damaging but on the same spectrum, you want to be telling stories that enhance the prospect's understanding and/or opinion of your organization.  It's very easy to tell stories that are the equivalent of junk food - lots of calories, might be delicious, but at the end of the day, terrible nutrition and ultimately forgettable.

I've found it very useful to practice and file good nuggets for conversation - you can even give them mental tags for categorization - "shows how well we accomplish our mission" "shows how efficiently we use donations" "shows how we're a spunky grassroots organization" "shows how graceful and dignified we are when fighting battles at the statehouse" "shows our sense of humor in the face of all the hard work we do"...etc.  Whatever you think is important to communicate.  You've given the elevator pitch - now, with your stories, slowly and as part of natural conversation, do what every high school writing teacher told you at some point: show, don't tell.

Preparation is going to make you feel more comfortable.  And that's going to improve everything about this first date.  

Next up: stop talking already.  Ask some questions.



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